My Thoughts…





I’ve been thinking a lot… taking in comments from both sides, both praise and criticism… and the thing that I find most disheartening in all of this is that the very people who taught me acceptance for all human beings regardless of who/what they are… the ones who taught me to live by “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”… the ones who taught me Christian values… are the very people who say how wrong I and everyone else in the LGBTQ community are over something we did not choose, but how we were born.


I did not ask for scorn, ridicule, judgment and outright hate from others. All I want is to love and be loved just like everyone else. And when I do fall in love with someone. I want to be able to marry them, to commit myself to them for the rest of my life. If they’re ill or injured, I want to be able to visit them in a hospital and help make medical decisions for them, like any other spouse would be able to. Share an insurance plan, like any other family can. Share a life and a home, and be assured if. God forbid, tragedy struck, I’d still be able to keep that home were the person I love suddenly gone.

The thing that bothers me the most… all of this is done in the name of Christianity.

And don’t throw that old Sodom and Gomorrah story at me again. First of all, forced rape does not equal homosexuality. Rape is not an act of sex. It is an act of violence, of degradation, and of power and control over someone else and it has nothing to do with sex. But, even that isn’t what is said to be the sin of Sodom in Ezekiel (16:49)

“Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.” KJV

“Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy.” NIV

The great sin of Sodom and the reason it was destroyed was inhospitality/indifference to the need of others/showing no kindness or mercy, not homosexuality. And isn’t that ironic???

As for Leviticus 18:22 – In the original Hebrew: V’et zachar lo tishkav mishk’vey eeshah toeyvah hee. 
Translation of the first part: And with a male you shall not lay lyings of a woman…  Which doesn’t make a lot of sense. And the second part isn’t totally agreed upon by scholars. Can be abomination, or grievous, or detestable… or all of the above. But somehow, it has been translated and re-translated to the point where “homosexuality is an abomination”.

But if you look at all the verses around Leviticus 18:22 it is between a bunch of verses referring to idolatry and the ritual practices of idolatry. If that is the case, isn’t it likely that verse 22 also has to do with the ritual practice of having homosexual sex before an idol in a Temple not all homosexual acts as a whole?

Well, it’s not like any moral, righteous Christian would pay any attention to what I say or what I have studied. After all, I am an immoral, sinful Bisexual that God hates and I’m going to burn in Hell for all eternity.

But tell me this… if God is infallible, if He does not make mistakes (and I believe He is and doesn’t)… then explain to me why homosexual behavior has been found in more than 1500 species (excluding species that are asexual or hermaphroditic, in which homosexuality is not an issue)? And those are just the ones studied so far. If homosexuality is truly wrong, and God is the author and creator of all life… why would He create so many beings with same-sex attraction built into their genetic code, whether it be homosexual or bisexual?

I struggled most of my life with how I was born. I went through decades of self-loathing, denial, and hiding. I cried out to God to make me straight more times than I can count. I could drown in the number of tears I have cried while trying to be “normal” and a “good Christian”, all the while knowing that I was different. I studied the Bible and prayed and studied and prayed some more… Please God… change me. 

And nothing about me ever changed.

I believe that God knows everything. that He hears every prayer. And I believe He answers them, we just have to learn to listen. Well, I finally heard what He had been trying to tell me. “Why do you assume there’s been a mistake. I don’t make mistakes. You are as I created you.”

No. God does not make mistakes… I am not a mistake or wrong in being who God created me to be.

Sometimes, I think Mohandas K. Gandhi had it right: “I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

Jesus didn’t suffer and die on that cross just for Christians. He didn’t suffer and die on that cross for everyone but homosexuals. He isn’t about the exclusion of anyone. He’s about loving and accepting everyone and hoping they will accept Him and the gift of Salvation.

Honestly, I’m pretty sure Jesus is disappointed in the fact that people so effectively exclude others, practice bigotry and outright hate in His name.

Oh, and to those who told me, when I came out last year, that they would “pray for my salvation”… Keep your prayers. I’ve prayed for my own salvation and it’s between me and God.




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My Wishes For You…

I wish you you knew just how much you mean to me

You may think you do, but you don’t

because I’m not always able to say how I feel

I wish you understood just how special you are

Not just to me, but to everyone touched by you

I wish this life had been kinder to you

But then again, if it had,

you may not have become the person I know

I wish you could see yourself

through the eyes of those who hold you most dear

You would never again be unsure or insecure

I wish you saw your value to those who love you more

and the opinions of those who don’t really know you less

I wish that you realize real beauty

has nothing to do with the size you wear

or the way you style your hair

It has everything to do with what’s inside your heart

and how you share it with others in your life

and you are truly beautiful.

I wish for you…

happiness

joy

love

peace

good health

good friends

a good life well-lived

I wish you more sunshine than rain

more laughter than tears

more happiness than sadness

more acceptance for who you really are

than acceptance for who you’re thought to be

more real friends, who are true to you

than pretenders who curse you when your back is turned

more sweet peace than turmoil and chaos

Above all of these things…

I wish you great love

Not just from those who care about you

but within yourself for others.

I wish you the Happiest Birthdays

The Merriest Christmases

and the nicest days

and if you haven’t figure it out by now…

I wish you to know I love you

I do

I love you

© 2012 Michelle D. Wampole

All Rights Reserved

This is dedicated to everyone in my life that I love and will love…

You all mean so much more to me than you will ever know.

For Lisa…

How do I explain how I’ve felt since we reconnected…
How do I tell you how I feel
Was all of this something totally by chance or is it God ordained
It’s for sure complicated


All I know is that, until you came back into my life
It was all like a frame from a film frozen out of focus in time
But day by day it’s becoming clearer with you as the central theme
and I don’t want to picture you anywhere else but with me


I know you love someone else
And I know that won’t change overnight… It may never change
I’m just saying, if you ever do let go… and if you’re willing to try
I’ll be right here, always… loving you.


Is this too soon… we’ve only just reconnected
Maybe… but I loved you back then, too
And I never really stopped
So is 25 years too soon


Or is 25 years too late


I just wanted you to know
Because I know your heart is breaking
You’re not alone
Mine is breaking, too… for you.






And because I am a sucker for a really  cheesy love song… LOL



My Wish For You

My Wish For You
 
No fear, no pain
Know how much you’ve yet to gain
No sorrow, no tears
An abundance of love the rest of your years
Never give up even when all seems lost
Doing what’s right regardless the cost
This is my wish for you
 
Family to surround,
Comfort and love you
Friends who will always
Be there to support you
Every dream you’ve had, may they all come true
All this and more…
My wish for you

Persistence, perseverance, patience
Resilience, determination, and endurance
Belief in yourself and the power of love
Faith in God and Heaven above
All of these are
My wish for you


copyright 2010 Michelle Wampole

I Am Not Wrong

Fear
What will my family, friends think
If they find out who (what) I am?

Love is love
Is love is love
Why does it matter who it’s with?

HETERO-, HOMO-, BI-
All just labels meant to divide
Why does it have to be that way?

People are people
Why does it matter who they love?
Why can’t we all be treated the same?

I’m tired of hiding
I’ve been doing it most of my life
Told that who I am is wrong

But God doesn’t make mistakes
So who I am, what I am can’t be wrong
Because He made me

He knew me and who I would be
Long before I was in the womb
I’m not a mistake and I’m not wrong

So I am not going to hide anymore
I am not going to be ashamed
I am not going to be afraid

I am who I am
I love who I love
And I am not wrong

Copyright 2010 Michelle D. Wampole

The Best Revenge

I remember when I was a kid
you threw me across the room into a concrete wall
I remember the time you kicked me
until I was unconscious
When you twisted my arm so hard
up behind my back
that it broke
I remember every time you spit at me
at the top of your lungs
how retarded, worthless and unlovable I was
I remember

I still feel every blow
every scar and every wound laid open
caused by your fists or your words
Even now, years later
your voice still echoes in my had
even though you’re nowhere near
Oh yes, I remember

I hated you for years
Swore I’d kill you if I could
I even almost took my own life
in an effort to silence you once and for all
The weight of that hate and anger
grew so heavy
I became trapped under it
Unable to move forward
Unable to turn back

I finally realized I had to let it all go
I had to forgive in order to move on
It wasn’t easy, but I did it
I forgave you

I can say I wish you well
I hope your life is peaceful
I can even say I love you and mean it

And that is the best revenge

Copyright 2010 Michelle D. Wampole